Married Life...

"Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve)
07/01/2016 at 11:04 • Filed to: not car related

Here’s a tip for y’all in long-term relationships, after the jump.

If your significant other says something like, “I’m not trying to be difficult,” do not reply with “I’m glad it comes so naturally to you.”

That statement extended the argument significantly longer than it needed to be. And two days later I can’t even really remember what we were arguing about. This leads me to my next lesson: Don’t fight over anything not worth fighting over. Talk to your partner. It helps.

DISCUSSION (21)

Ash78, voting early and often > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/01/2016 at 11:07

Ouch...yeah, thatescalatedquickly.jpg. The longer I live, the more I realize guys are expected to apologize almost all the time, even if they're only 10% at fault. And don't say anything after the apology, because to many people that negates or lessens the apology. Just say sorry and STFU. Then talk about it later, once the fire is out.

$kaycog > Ash78, voting early and often
07/01/2016 at 11:10

You are a wise man.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/01/2016 at 11:11

If your significant other says something like, “I’m not trying to be difficult,” do not reply with “I’m glad it comes so naturally to you.”

Counterpoint: that was funny for us on the outside

Ross Kraz > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/01/2016 at 11:12

HAHAHAHA great response, though. I bet in your head you were like

Kinja'd!!!

smobgirl > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/01/2016 at 11:12

I'm going to save that to use with the students. That line definitely works best in a dictatorship than an equal partnership.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Ash78, voting early and often
07/01/2016 at 11:12

Soooooo true

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Ash78, voting early and often
07/01/2016 at 11:13

Yeah the worst time to talk about anything is when they’re upset. It just sucks because what could be resolved in one conservation requires, at minimum, two.

Ash78, voting early and often > $kaycog
07/01/2016 at 11:15

And it only took 4 years of dating and 12 years of marriage to figure it out! But I find that the tips that apply to marriage also apply to general life and relationships, in most cases.

AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC > smobgirl
07/01/2016 at 11:15

That would be hilarious to see and hear a teacher doing that to a student.

functionoverfashion > Ash78, voting early and often
07/01/2016 at 11:16

Indeed, I’m sorry BUT ... negates the sorry.

$kaycog > Ash78, voting early and often
07/01/2016 at 11:17

But at least you learned. Some guys never “get it”.

I agree on the latter.

Ash78, voting early and often > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/01/2016 at 11:17

Guys tend to want immediate resolution. We’re better at setting the emotion aside and just speaking facts and arguments. Neither side is better or worse, but in arguing, you have to defer to the more emotional person at first (that’s usually the wife). I call it the lowest common denominator of arguing. And it drives me nuts because it takes so much patience and discipline.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Ash78, voting early and often
07/01/2016 at 11:20

I think the biggest problem is that sometimes I feel like I’m not “allowed” to be as upset as my wife can be in those moments. Do you know what I mean?

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/01/2016 at 11:23

My girlfriend and I have been dating just over a year, and I can honestly say that we haven’t had any real “fights.” We’ve had some small disagreements and minor arguments, but they’re pretty quickly resolved. I think it’s mainly a result of her being very intelligent and being able to put up with my shit, and me tending to be pretty logical and never really sweating the small stuff.

Also having been in a long distance relationship for most of our relationship, pretty much right from the start, helped us to realize that we shouldn’t waste our time together fighting over trivial things.

Ash78, voting early and often > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/01/2016 at 11:27

I’m gonna loosely quote my favorite comedian/monologist, Mike Birbiglia, that the greatest injustice in the history of gender relations is “Man gets mad at woman, woman gets counter -mad at man just for being mad. Man buys woman frozen yogurt. Well guess what? I’m still SECRETLY MAD!”

WiscoProud > Ash78, voting early and often
07/01/2016 at 12:01

That's basically my whole philosophy. Try to sound like I mean it and say sorry (even when I'm right) then convince her I'm right. Its like an argument reset button.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/01/2016 at 12:33

“If your significant other says something like, “I’m not trying to be difficult,” do not reply with “I’m glad it comes so naturally to you.””

ROFLOL... and it’s funny because it’s probably true... and the truth hurts.

I recently had some experience with my GF having “doubts” and made some comments about how I parent my kids (my son in particular) without knowing the full background story... something I took a very dim view of and found insulting. And I told her that. I also asked her how she would feel if me or some other guy gave her the same kind of “advice” for how she should parent her kids without the background knowledge.

I mentioned to her that she’s lucky she’s a woman... because if she was a guy and said that to a mother, most mothers would tell her to go fuck herself.

Anyway... it all ended with her suggesting I apologize... though I had her apologize first for the argument she basically instigated.

If she hadn’t acknowledged her hand in the situation, I might have become single again.

And now that I’m older, being single doesn’t scare me.

Since my divorce, I’ve dated some women who would habitually threaten breakup as a lame/childish way to get their way. Problem was... it didn’t work with me as I would call them on it and say “Okay, I guess we are done then” and I’d leave.

5 minutes later, I get a million and one calls/texts pleading for me to come back.

What it really is, is a play for control. I’m not interested in controlling anyone. But I’ve learned that many out there ARE interested in controlling the person they supposedly love.

It’s just one of the things that reinforces my opinion that getting married again would be a terrible idea because in marriage, walking away becomes much more difficult, expensive and usually gives her an unfair advantage (due to a biased family law system).

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > $kaycog
07/01/2016 at 12:38

And there are some like me... I “get it”, but just don’t have the patience nor the lack of self respect to apologize for someone else’s problem.

Of course if you’re married, not doing that could end up being very costly.

And thus, it’s one of the reasons why I’m never getting married again.

I’d rather be single than be in a relationship where I constantly have to apologize for things someone else instigated... with the threat of a costly breakup hanging over my head.

$kaycog > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
07/01/2016 at 12:40

I agree.

BayAreaMiataBoi > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/01/2016 at 19:15

I’m lucky that my wife of 30 years has told me outright:
“Do not try to fix the problem (I just described to you). Just listen to me.”
I take her at face value, listen, and then go out for a drive. A long drive if I’m really steamed.
I expect to be married for another 30 years.
(And yes, dishing attitude gets you attitude back, with compound interest.)

Ferdinand Adlersflügel > Ash78, voting early and often
07/03/2016 at 02:09

too bad it’s not always that easy when it’s two guys

(said in the middle of a fight that’s been going on for over 90 hours)